Rambling Thoughts - 1

TW: mentions of transphobia and doubt


         So, this week I've got writer's block. I've been trying to make posts out in advance, but all of them are half done or fragments, what have you.
         When in doubt, I just start rambling. Just bear with me, alright?

         One thing that's got me stuck lately has been doubt. Doubt in myself, doubt in friends, in family. Honestly, it's mostly about me being trans.
         I came out as ace with very little fanfare. Just a Facebook post explaining it and saying this is what I am. It wasn't too bad, and I didn't get any sour reactions to it. Honestly, that's probably because anyone who would have issues with it isn't following me anymore. Or they just don't check Facebook. The first is probably more likely in some cases because I've been sharing more LGBT positive posts. I friended a lot of folks when I was in my senior year of high school, you know, before I realized that Catholics weren't as fantastic as they said they were. (Disclaimer: Not all Catholics are horrible, just as Christians are not. It all comes down to the person themself.)
         A lot of my family was accepting, which was nice. My immediate family knows about all of it now. I told my sister first, then my parents. Sister got a phone call and my parents got a letter. The letter came from an attempt to come out while my boyfriend was visiting, but chickening out and writing out my feelings instead.

         Now, my extended family didn't react badly to me being ace. However, from past posts, I know that at least one of my relatives is transphobic. They aren't blood-related, just one of the married in ones. According to them, pronouns are selfish, and making a big deal out of your chosen name is ridiculous. Which isn't true. Mental health is important, and to downgrade it to being "selfish" is kind of a jerk move on their part.
         Honestly, they're gonna eat crow once I come out. Or they'll just be one of the people I cut out of my life. My only hope is that it won't prevent me from seeing my cousins, because that would suck. Well, unless they adopt the same ideas as her. We'll find out someday.

         But until then, I'll be coming up with more and more ways to prove I am me and not have to seek approval. Because the one who comes first is yourself. At least in stuff like this.

-Vic