12th Grade- Letter 1

 TW: mentions of Gender Dysphoria, Anxiety, and Depression

Dear senior year me,

         I know you're stuck right now. This whole thing sucks. Your friends aren't making much sense. They're not communicating anymore. But you know something else?

        Those friends aren't going to be around much longer. You'll see their true colors when times get hard and when they get better too. I know that's hard to hear. It was hard for me the first time. Well, technically, the second, as we both know this has happened before. But this time we know more.

        We know that not everybody you know for years you can trust. We know that you need to trust your instincts. When you get a bad vibe, you believe it. If someone tells you to go against your gut, you tell them no. Actually, don't even tell them no. Just ignore their well-meaning suggestions. Because even if they think it's good for all parties, it might not be right for you.
        Trust your gut.

        Crying alone in your room won't last forever, either. Well, it still happens, but it's not for people that don't matter. Plus, it won't be every night, just for a few low nights. And you have great friends who care about you. New ones, who care about you in the bad times as well as good.
        Also, spoilers, but you have a boyfriend, too. He's nerdy and adorkable. You'll be nervous, but he's supportive and caring. It'll be scary to trust again so soon, but he's one of the good ones. He loves you for you. He's not just your boyfriend; he's one of your best friends.

        And try on some button down-shirts and ties, for goodness sake. I know it's against the dress code at school, but you haven't shied away from trying things when you're alone. Trust me, none of your family is going to judge you. And they definitely aren't going to notice when you get a binder in three years. Sorry, spoilers.
        Seriously, though. Formal shirt and tie, that's all I'm asking.

        Don't listen to the crap your teachers are spewing about gay guys being gross and trans people being confused. They don't know because they don't care to. So they won't research and have an open mind like you do. They've got their own ideas already. Just be yourself and stay open.

-Vic